The Fear
I made my brain the wretched thing that it is now. I wish to put sudden memories that pop up behind but it’s impossible now. It would make me a smaller person to bury what my past has shown me. Fear. Fear of life. Fear of moving on of doing right and fear of losing that last little bit of light that I feel inside of me. It’s there but only barely lit. It was stripped away by the abuse that I took and the abuse that I did to myself. Now the ones that are supposed to help give me these pills that I flush down the drain and then the dreams start to come back. I walk among the dead the corpses all around me. I see the good and the evil and I want to hide. Hide my soul because they want to steal it from me.
We are all fighting constantly. Fighting over land. Fighting for a right that will never come. Money/Drugs/Corruption It is a cycle I don’t want to be part of. It makes me sick to my stomach and I have been shutting the television off during the day because of it. It is curious/how is one ever happy in this world? You would think we all need meds to get through the disgust in people and things I see every day. Why was I born in this time and age? I feel like I don’t belong and don’t know anyone. I will keep believing that I’m from another time and that when the end of me comes I will be sent to a better place.
Still the only thing that holds me together is my love I’ve seen the blue in his soul. He is my soulmate. We are not worried because in the next life we will find eachother again/I may be a boy and he may be a girl but our souls will meet again.
